Dating Optimally
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Dating Optimally
The first step was automating the digital side. Cost was no issue; just seven apps premium subscription to get access to their APIs. A randomized trial of profile pictures to find the statistically optimal set. Then, an AI chatbot taking in a feed of profiles and prompts to be funny and witty, and within a few weeks of running, the system had me going on three dates a week.
The second step was optimizing the social interactions. This was far more straightforward than expected, given I only had to plan for three dates per match. A consistent rotation of first date spots, second date spots and third dates spots; minor jokes and fun facts pre-determined for each. Finding the optimal talking points was no trouble, though it took a significant amount of time to collect the data: a mapping of likely characteristics based on the profile, to positive responses to various topics. Of course, some was left up to random noise, I am human after all.
This lead me to the first major obstacle. Only around 10% of the dates I was going on were in the right ballpark of what I was looking for! Adding filtering decreased the rate of dates considerably, with only a slight increase in quality. My first idea was to set up similar dating profiles in different locations somewhat nearby, each with their own paid subscriptions. Combined with filtering, I continued the three dates a week rate at a now 42% quality match. Close! Though the financial and time burden had increased dramatically (as I was now driving further distances on average per date), my hopes had as well.
Alas, I am left disappointed a year later. People are so inconsistent! One moment they seem just right, the next you're wondering how this person made it to the third date. However, the data continues to provide insight into the connection. I have planned out to the seventh date now; optimal lighting, furniture, general decor, and sexual positions; even micro-optimisations on behavioral ticks, laughter, voice pitch and accent -- unnecessary but I have gotten a tad bored.
Time to get serious. I find a remote job with higher pay. Multiple profiles in cities around the country, making my premium dating app subscriptions the highest expense I have. I batch dates; I can travel in a loop around the country and spend a week in each location with three dates a day. Eureka! I can increase my rate of quality by parallelizing the dates as well; three at a time with each starting as "Oh I forgot something in my car," so I can walk out and experience the others and choose the best possibility. My quality match is now 74%, and my super-quality match nearly 17%! This feels right, this feels like I will finally find the person I am looking for.
Months later, tired and dejected, I realize I can't financially sustain such habits for much longer. The debt is starting to compile -- ruining my status and prospects as a potential mate. All this effort would be for naught if I was filtered out early in my date's strategy. I sit alone at a bar, in a new city, and drown my sorrows. "Are you okay?" someone asks me with such genuineness that for a moment I fall in love. Who am I kidding? They're not my type.